PX Jokes

Hello, Honored Readers, I’m Petty Officer Edmundson, and THIS is The Veterans’ Voice!

It’s time, yet again for “Hump Day Humor”!

Today’s offering is a quaint story I read in “Humor in Uniform” in Reader’s Digest.

The teenage son of an army officer got an after school job as a bagger in the base PX, where he worked for tips only.  He learned to increase his tips by chatting with the customers.  Well, one day, an older officer walked in, and as the young man chatted with him, the officer stated that he had had his uniform since World War II.

“NO,” the boy cried, “You don’t look a day over Vietnam!”

The young man got a good tip.

Since this joke was rather short, I’ll offer another one, also from Reader’s Digest.

A newlywed Navy Lieutenant was in a Navy Exchange and grumbled as he followed his wife.

“Here I am,” he grumbled, “a lieutenant in the United States Navy, and I’m out shopping with my wife!”

To his shock and embarrassment, a full bird captain and HIS wife walked up.

“Son,” the Captain rumbled, “with some training and a promotion or two, your wife just might let you go shopping by yourself.”

Can I get away with one more PX joke, Honored Readers?  Another gem from Reader’s Digest!

A cashier was bored as she worked the checkout counter at an army PX.  She had three customers in her line.  The first was a kid buying cigarettes.  Since he looked a little young, she checked his identification card, and refused to sell the cigarettes because he was too young.  The next customer was a soldier in uniform who was buying beer, and she had to check his ID.  The third customer was a Major in civilian clothes, and the cashier automatically asked to see his ID.

“Ma’am,” he grumbled, “I understand you have to be eighteen to buy cigarettes and twenty-one to buy beer…but how old do you have to be to buy cookies?!”

That’s all for Hump Day Humor, Honored Readers!  If you have a joke or funny story to share on this blog, go to the contact page and send me an email.  Please put “Hump Day Humor” in the subject line.

That’s all for today, Honored Readers.  I’m Petty Officer Edmundson, and THIS is The Veterans’ Voice!

The Chaplain’s Trip

Hello, Honored Readers, I’m Petty Officer Edmundson, and THIS is the Veterans’ Voice.

It’s Wednesday, and that means “Hump Day Humor”.  Maybe I should write this as part of “Sunday with the Chaplain” since today’s humorous offering involves a chaplain, but it’s a joke, so it goes on Hump Day Humor.  Here goes.

An army chaplain (feel free to change the branch of service to suit your own tastes), was stationed at boot camp (doesn’t matter where).   Normally the chaplain only saw the recruits on Sundays, or during the week when the recruits got permission from their sergeant to go see the chaplain to discuss personal issues.  Well, one day, the chaplain decided to accompany one boot camp company on a field march, just to see what his “flock” goes through day in and day out.  For the first five miles of the march, he felt great.  He was out in the sunshine, enjoying the fresh air, listening to the recruits chanting a jaunty cadence.  Then he tripped on a root and uttered a mild expletive.

With the recruits eying him curiously, he looked skyward, and said, “I’m sorry, Lord.”

That past, he caught up to the company and began to enjoy the march again, occasionally taking a sip of water from his canteen.  After a few hours, he tripped again.

He looked skyward and said, “I said I was sorry, Lord, you didn’t have to trip me!”

That’s today’s offering, Honored Readers.  If you have a joke, or funny story you’d like me to share on Hump Day Humor, go to the contact page, and send it to me via email.  Please put “Hump Day Humor” in the subject line.

That’s all for today, Honored Readers, I’m Petty Officer Edmundson, and THIS has been the Veterans’ Voice!

Introducing Hump Day Humor

Hello, Honored Readers, I’m Petty Officer Edmundson, and THIS is The Veteran’s Voice!

It’s Wednesday, Honored Readers.  Many people call it “Hump Day”.  For those of you who are wondering what that nickname means, it is a reference to the fact that Wednesday is the middle of the week.  That means you only have to suffer through Thursday and Friday, then….THE WEEKEND!!!!!  SATURDAY AND SUNDAY, BABY!

Since it is “Hump Day”, I have chosen to this day as a day to convey a bit of humor for you.  On Wednesdays, I will post jokes, funny stories, and humorous tales from and/or about the military and veterans.  Today’s joke is one I read in Readers Digest’s “Humor in Uniform”.  Please note, I am writing this from memory, so some of the details have been altered.  Here goes:

There was an army major giving an intelligence briefing to a group of top army brass.  This presentation involved photographs, drawings, and maps displayed on a movie screen using an overhead projector.  During the presentation, a particularly eagle-eyed four-star general spotted a narrow, race track-shaped object on the top left corner of a map.

“Major,” the general barked, pointing at the screen, “what’s that symbol up there?”

The Major looked at the map, and then blushed with embarrassment as he looked at his notes.

“General, sir,” the Major groaned, “that’s a paper clip!”

There you go, Honored Readers…an army joke for “Hump Day”.  If you have a joke or a funny story, please go to the contact page, and send it to me via email.  Please put “Hump Day Humor” in the subject line.

That’s all for today, Honored Readers, I’m Petty Officer Edmundson, and THIS is The Veteran’s Voice!